Dude...where's my Dragonball?
by The Sandwich Woman
Summary: Vegeta wants immortality...AGAIN. To do this, he must ask the woman for the Dragon Radar. To do this, he must help Mirai Trunks get enrolled in Gohan's school. What more could possibly go wrong? Lots more!
1. It Starts...You Think You Know These Guy...

Disclaimer: Guess.  
  
Chi-Zu: *Sits in velvet Editor's Chair, grinning from ear to ear* Hello, fools of all ages. My name is Chi-Zu. Yes, it means cheese. Any mocking, however, will result in YOU *points straight ahead to viewer* being turned into a can of LIMA BEANS. Here with me are my...co-editors, co-producers, whatever...but they're not important. Anyway, we've the Big Green Alien Dude, Piccolo, and Pan. Pan is Pan. Enough said.  
Piccolo: ..I hate my agent.  
Pan: Umm...it might be...-  
Chi-Zu: Fun? *narrows eyes and grins evilly* Maybe. Maybe not. It depends whether I want you guys to have fun or not.  
Pan: Aw, c'mon...*gets big, sparkly eyes and looks pleadingly at Chi-Zu*  
Chi-Zu: *Tries to stare without expression, but is cracking slowly* ...  
Piccolo: *Is watching intently with a glass of water* Interesting...  
Chi-Zu: ...oh, alright.  
Piccolo & Pan: YESSSSS!  
Chi-Zu: But not TOO much fun.  
Piccolo & Pan: Of course, Chi-sama. *Both are grinning widely*  
Chi-Zu: -_-;; Aaanyway...Hey, Green Dude, start the story. And Pan?  
Pan: What?  
Chi-Zu: Don't make that face. Ever.  
Pan: *Sweetly* Whatever you say, Chi-sama.  
Chi-Zu: Don't call me that, either. People'll call me Chi-Chi, causing them to be instantly transformed into a can of beans. *Pulls out a red leather-bound journal with creme-colored pages, sticks a green feather pen in ear, then looks threateningly at Piccolo and Pan* Now, START THE STORY!  
  
Chap. Summary: Vegeta's plan is in motion. He's looking for a lackey. And who better to order around then some short, bald dude who's only human, can fly, and has the ability to persuade the woman to get the Dragon radar? And if Bulma is looking to tame the animal that is Mirai Trunks by placing him in Orange Star High School, she probably doesn't know that you can take the tiger outta the jungle, but you can't take the jungle outta the tiger!  
  
Pan: *Giggles* That was pretty preppy for Piccolo to write it. Nice job, *reads top* Big Green Alien Dude.  
Chi-Zu: O_o Maybe he oughta write the summaries from now on.  
Piccolo: Thanks. ^_^  
Chi-Zu: -_-;;  
  
---  
  
Vegeta stomped into Capsule Corp., looking depressed with his favorite towel draped over his shoulder. Bulma came back from cleaning some of the newest inventions, took a look at the angry Saiy-jin, placed her hands on her hips, and fixed a puzzling look.  
  
"What's got you in such a bad mood?" She sighed and shook her head. "Then again, you're a lot less DAMAGING" -she pointed her thumb towards a machine, newly-smashed yesterday- "then yesterday." Then, before Bulma could react, a ki blast flew towards the already-smashed-to-chunks machine, making it look like a diced white tomato. "Well, FINE," she said calmly. "Don't expect to find a place on the table!"  
  
Vegeta said nothing. He could always threaten Chibi Trunks for at least half the plate. The problem? That Kami-forsaken Kakkarotto had...well...he didn't exactly want to say DEFEAT. But it wasn't exactly the smell of VICTORY, either. He sighed, sat on the sofa, and propped his legs on the coffee table. Now the baka woman wouldn't give him any food. Vegeta thought...and thought. How could he beat that Bakarott? If only, if only...he was invincible...  
  
Invincible?  
  
An idea came to him faster then a boot at a howling cat at 3 in the morning.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
Bulma was scrubbing the dishes, blabbering on. Mirai Trunks was sitting at the table, drawing pictures of what it would've looked like if he was fighting Cell. His head was propped up on his hand, and his expression was clearly that of someone bored. Bulma then switched topics; from some complaints about Vegeta to her newest invention: from what little Mirai Trunks heard, probably some fast car thingamabobber. He held his drawing to the light. Suddenly, a yelp from Bulma awakened Mirai from his sleep of boredom.  
  
"Mirai, I just got an idea!"  
  
Mirai groaned. What was it this time? Father-son bonding? A way to get him "associated" with the world? "What is it?" He remembered the father-son bonding. The very remembrance of when his father incinerated the entire lake area, inculding a 20-pound fish that has, just a second before, bit onto his line, then vanished into the air, was enough to discourage him from trying to go within a one-foot radius of his father. Usually, if he needed Vegeta, Mirai would shout, Vegeta'd shout (usually a "no" or something similar), and everyone'd be happy. "Before you say anything, just let me remind you of Lake Sandoicchi, please."  
  
"No, and I remember it well. I can only hope the police forgot what Vegeta looks like." Bulma shook her head again. "Anyway, the idea. I've suddenly decided to enroll you in Orange Star High."  
  
"WHAT?!" Mirai sputtered. "But-but-th-that's where G-Gohan goes! You hear him complaining!...Don't you?! Are you absolutely MAD? Wait, wait, it was something Gohan' mother said, isn't it?" He was stammering.  
  
"No, Chi-Chi hasn't 'influenced' me. But it's quite the chance for you to make friends, learn, and you always have Gohan to help you out." Bulma smiled in a Chi-Chi sort of way.   
  
"Umm..." Mirai stood up slowly and walked out of the room, convincing himself that she was joking, and the whole thing about school would blow over...  
  
Well...people can dream, can't they?!  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
Chi-Chi picked up the phone, while carefully supervising Goku and surveying his mess. "Hello?...oh, hi, Bulma..." Her eyes grew big and round. "Really?! Oh, Gohan-" Gohan's looked up. "-will be ecstatic! Of course I'll tell him! Bye!"  
  
"Umm...mom? I heard..." He looked at his mom, then began to get just a LITTLE bit scared. "...my name..."  
  
"That's right! Guess what?" Chi-Chi waited for an answer. After a brief moment of silence, she frowned, then retained her cheerful look. "Mirai Trunks's going to your school!"  
  
Silence.  
  
An earth-shattering "WHAAAAAAAAAAT?!".  
  
Pigeons fly off their posts. People look from where the sound came from. Mirai Trunks realizes that both of the Mothers Dearest haven't hung up the phone. Bulma's newest invention is destroyed by sound waves emitting from the cordless device.  
  
And from that moment on, Mirai knew only one thing.  
  
His life was over.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
Vegeta tried to remember the old days. One of his recollections was that every villain needed a lackey. He thought. Piccolo wouln't listen, Yamcha was a wuss, Tien was...well, he didn't know where Tien was in the first place, Bakarott was too good, and his spawn weren't much better...then it came to him.  
  
He needed someone weak, someone scared, someone human. And there was only one short bald dude that fitted that description.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
Android 18 was out shopping with Maron. Master Roshi locked himself in his room. No one dared to ask him what he was doing. Mostly because they didn't want to know. So Krillen was sitting in front of the TV, playing Marron's Nintendo. He found it quite enjoyable. Then, the red door caved in. In the doorway was a spikey-headed Saiy-jin.  
  
"Alright, listen up, Cueball," Vegeta said, holding Krillen by the collar. "From this day forward, you are my lackey. And I need you to get the Dragon Radar from the woman."  
  
"Uh," Krillen sweatdropped. This was a unique situation. "Why can't you do it? She's your wife."  
  
"The onna's mad at me. Now hurry up!" Vegeta roared.  
  
"Ok, ok, sheesh." No need for a mere human to get the Prince of Saiy-jins angry. "I'll do it."  
  
---  
  
Pan: That was pretty cool, Chi-Zu. But I'm not in it. *Pouts*  
Chi-Zu: Quiet.  
Piccolo: -_-;;  
Chi-Zu: Don't worry, Big Green Alien Dude, you'll be in soon enough.  
Piccolo: 'K! ^_^  
Pan: *pouts*  
  
Disclaimer 2: Oh, yeah, and I'm gonna be future Nintendo producer. But until then... 


	2. The Plans Are In Motion...Well, Almost

Disclaimer: ...[Insert disclaimer stuff here]  
  
Chi-Zu: Cool, my first words of encouragement. *Is smiling*  
Piccolo: I...don't believe it. Chi-Zu's actually, not sarcastically, HAPPY! *Looks happy as well*  
Pan: Miracles DO happen. O_o;; Umm...Piccolo?   
Chi-Zu: Just for clarification, the short modifications of this tale include the fact that Gohan destroyed Cell as soon as he got the chance. Thus, Goku is still alive.  
Pan: PICCOLO!!!  
Piccolo: Hmm...? Oh, yeah, the chapter summary. Ahem. *Looks like a CNN reporter on his first day*  
  
Chap. Summary: Well, Vegeta's got his lackey. Why is Gohan shocked? Why, because Mirai Trunks is the heir to the company that is Capsule Corp.! And you KNOW what happens to big, rich companies with smart people? Why, they have children from any age visit and tour the place! And if a group of children come to the company, each with the same Orange Star High badge, what does that mean? FIELD TRIP!!! And if Mirai'll be enrolled for the entire school year, what could happen THEN?!  
  
Chi-Zu: Too many exclamation points.   
Piccolo: Quiet you.  
Chi-Zu: Green bean.  
Piccolo: Cheeze Louise.  
Chi-Zu: Puke dude.  
Piccolo: Cheese freak.  
Chi-Zu: Gas mass.  
Pan: Umm...I'll start the story. -_-;;  
  
---  
  
Krillen followed Vegeta back to Capsule Corp. Vegeta marched to Bulma and looked at her smugly. He elbowed Krillen, nearly knocking the monk over. Krillen cleared his throat. "Ahem," Krillen began, "Bulma, can I have the Dragon radar?"  
  
"Sure!" Bulma smiled broadly. Then her face faltered as she saw the look on Vegeta's face. "Wait...Vegeta's making you do this, isn't he?" And before a response was head, there was the familiar clank of the frying pan being brought over the ouji's head. Vegeta recoiled, rubbed his head, and glared at Krillen menacingly.  
  
"Wait, uh, he isn't!" Krillen insisted, shaking his head. "I just wanna..." Vegeta gave him a look that said, *Make up your own idea, cueball.* Krillen stammered. "Umm...get something nice...for the wife!"  
  
"Oh." Bulma put the pan away and handed over the radar. "That's thoguthful. Too bad SOME husbands" -she glared at Vegeta- "don't care anyhoo." Vegeta lost his composure. Krillen walked outside.  
  
"Don't just stand there! Turn it on!" snapped Vegeta.  
  
Krillen did so unwillingly, and thus began the search.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
Mirai walked in the Tech class, where Gohan put his head in his hands. If the yearly field trip would go on, then he'd have to cope with two Trunkses, and as fate would have it, the Chibi would invite Goten. And Chibi Trunks and Goten...he didn't DARE to think. And...and...Vegeta lived there, too...and then his mother would volunteer Goku as a chaperone to keep an eye on Vegeta so as he doesn't harm the students, and, and...it just...wasn't...fair...  
  
Mirai walked to the front of the class, his face turning a shade of scarlet. The teacher, Ms. Sissors, said, "Let us all welcome our newest student- Trunks Briefs." There was a short moment of murmuring- they'd thought Trunks was only 8 years old. And here was a roughly-built 18-year-old, who in the girls' opinion was kinda cute. And Briefs? He was the heir to a major company. "Why don't you introduce yourself, Trunks?"  
  
"Umm...hi." He grinned nervously. "I'm Trunks Briefs, I'm new..." He trailed off, then dashed into a seat next to Gohan. "How do you survive?" he muttered to Gohan. "These people are absorbing every word I say- like little piranhas!" Gohan looked up from the spot where his head was in his hands.  
  
"You get used to it...I think the people like you, anyway." Gohan managed a kind smile.  
  
"Gohan," Videl prodded Gohan. "You didn't tell me you knew Trunks Briefs."  
  
"And this is?" Trunks nodded towards Videl. Videl smiled.  
  
"I'm Videl Satan. Nice to meet you." Videl shook his hand.   
  
"Did you say Satan?" Trunks asked in disbelief. "The Satan who took all the godforsaken credit for destroying Cell when it was Go-" Gohan clamped a hand over Trunks's mouth.   
  
"Huh?" Videl looked blank.  
  
"Nothing!" Gohan said nervously. It was gonna be a long year...  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
"Really?! That guy with your name and looks like you is going to my brother's school?!" Goten's eyes grew round. "Cool!"  
  
"Yeah, and y'know how those big kids come to my house every year and mom blabbers and stuff?" Trunks grinned evilly. "This time, Gohan's class is coming this year."  
  
"Whoa!" Goten grinned, then stopped grinning and cocked his head to the side. "So?"  
  
"SO?!" Trunks slapped his own forehead with his palm. Goten could be incredibly idiotic sometimes. "SO?! SO?! The first and last time that we get to embarass your brother in front of his whole Godforsaken class and all you can say," Trunks breathed, "is SO?!"  
  
"Geez," Goten frowned. "Don't go nuts."  
  
"Ugh," Trunks shook his head. "Whatever. We'd better think up some sort of plan..."  
  
"Really?!" Goten shrieked. "A plan?! Can it have a name and stuff like that?!"  
  
"What?!" Trunks rolled his eyes. "You're such a dork, Goten. Has anyone ever told you that?"  
  
"You," Goten frowned. "About a gazillion times. And I'm not one!" He placed his hands on his waistline angrily. "And the people on TV do it."  
  
"Fine," Trunks sighed. "But not now...later."  
  
"No, now."  
  
"FINE!" Trunks shouted angrily. "Operation Annoy Son Gohan! Ya happy now?!"  
  
"Yes, very."  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
A gunshot was heard in the nearby bank. Some dude with a rifle wearing black clothes aimed it at the teller. "Hand over the cash! And make it quick, too!" The teller, valuing his life, snatched a bag and started putting dollar bills inside.   
  
And then the familiar cry of Saiyaman rang throughout the city. Gohan, dressed in his nerdy costume, had arrived at the scene. Videl raced the superhero, angry that he'd gotten there first. The nerve bucket-man had to come in when he knew perfectly well that there was not enough room in the city for both of them! Videl leapt out of her copter and rolled her eyes as Saiyaman did his funky poses. While he was dancing and ranting about, she'd already taken action.  
  
Videl ran into the bank, only to be abruptly stopped by a guy about 3 times bigger then the skinny guy holding up the teller. The two engaged in a fist fight. Gohan AKA Saiyaman dashed in. The skinny guy turned and attempted a shot. Gohan smiled as the bullet went at several miles per hour- and bounced off his head! Skinny guy sweatdropped, only to have Gohan materialize at his side and snap the rifle in two with ease. Videl was just finishing off the big guy.   
  
The police carried away Skinny Dude and Fat Man when Videl hopped into Saiyaman's way.  
  
"Okay, I've had enough of this." Videl's fierce tone reminded Gohan too much of his mother. "Who are you? Where in the name of Kami did you get your powers! Answer me!" Gohan scratched the side of his head with one finger and grinned nervously.  
  
"Umm..." Gohan took a few steps backward, only to be cornered next to a fence by Videl. Saluting, he flew off. Videl growled and shook her fist. Somehow, someway, she'd find out who he was. And she'd make him talk.  
  
---  
  
Piccolo: I'm not in the story yet. ~_~  
Chi-Zu: Quiet you.   
Pan: At least you'll be in the story at all.  
Chi-Zu: Yeah, you oughta thank me, fart-head.  
Piccolo: ...Shut UP. 


End file.
